How to Have Compassion for Anyone (Even Newt Gingrich)

I find it very difficult to relate to Newt Gingrich. In fact I just don’t like him very much at all. So the idea of having compassion for him is extremely challenging since it’s easiest to have compassion for those people or groups of people with whom I can easily relate to in some way. 

When I consider Newt’s personality, his appearance, his rants against the media, the hypocrisy of his actions, his misguided policy ideas, the sometimes thinly veiled and other times blatantly racist or homophobic remarks he makes, I just find it nearly impossible to empathize with him at all. So why should I even bother trying to muster up any sense of compassion for such a man?

It’s easiest to feel for those people in our lives that we care a lot about; our family, friends, political allies, our “inner circle.” But this kind of compassion doesn’t take any special effort, it doesn’t help us cultivate more generosity of heart and it doesn’t personally demand too much of us since it arises so easily.

The other day as I watched Mr. Gingrich excoriating the media once again during a CNN debate, I suddenly had a momentary flash of empathy for him. I wondered what it must be like to be Newt. I wondered what fueled his ambition, his passion, his outrage, his anger, his very strong desire to make tons of money, his need to be recognized, respected, and to rise to power once again. I wondered what it felt like when he divorced his two first wives while they were dealing with serious illnesses. On the outside that all seems rather appalling, but what, I wondered, is going on in the inside?

Does Newt Gingrich ever suffer? Surely he must. And if so why should I bother cultivating any sense of compassion for a person that appears to be so different from myself and so indifferent to the suffering of other people?

When we learn to allow ourselves to extend compassion to our alleged “enemies”, we’re also letting ourselves off the hook even though we may not realize it at first. Having some empathy for someone else along with a sincere desire that they no longer have to endure so much pain also brings with it a deeper sense of acceptance and patience for those parts of ourselves that we find so unacceptable. By witnessing the pain that others endure, we learn to deal better with our own. By holding our own anguish without judging it or trying to make it instantly disappear, we increase our capacity for extending compassion and love towards all other beings.

When I struggle with my erroneous perceptions of “me vs them”, I can apply some awareness and calm the hell down for a minute, reminding myself that while I can’t necessarily relate to the packaging of some people, I can relate to that part of them that suffers and wishes to be happy. Those are two things that bind us all together as human being regardless of our external appearances and internal experiences.

I can choose to relate to the basically good, whole, and complete nature of all people, recognizing fully that we all share the same nature.

Operating from this correct viewpoint will fuel a very different quality of behavior than acting from the mistaken view that we are somehow separate from those people with whom we deeply disagree.

May we all awaken our innate capacity for unconditional love and compassion.

The Trouble with Looking Outside of Ourselves

Trying to find a Buddha or enlightenment is like trying to grab space. Space has a name but no form. It’s not something you can pick up or put down. And you certainly can’t grab if. Beyond mind you’ll never see a Buddha. The Buddha is a product of the mind. Why look for a Buddha beyond this mind? 

-Bloodstream Sermon  

We are socialized to believe that in order to feel whole and complete, we need to look outside of ourselves. If we just read this book, take that class or find a spouse, somehow the persistent void that permeates much of our daily experience will be filled and we can finally be Happy.  All of our problems will be solved and finally we can magically morph into the perfect version of ourselves. 

Most people spend a good deal of their lives operating like this and few if any ever step off of the hamster wheel long enough to realize how futile it is to view life in this way.

It’s as if a change in material wealth, relationship status, weight, or physical attractiveness is that one thing standing between us and our Happiness. However the only thing standing between ourselves and our happiness is our mind and what it creates.

It’s the awareness of the process that ultimately frees us from it. Simply recognizing the particular stories, emotions, and thought patterns we engage in allows for some space in which all of this can be transformed. So instead of reacting in our usual, habitual way the next time we’re confronted with those familiar thoughts, we have more options. We can respond appropriately rather than impulsively. We don’t have to get carried away with anger, fear, jealousy, anxiety, or rage. When we experience those emotions we can just hang out with them and watch how they eventually subside without being their slave.

May all beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering. May all beings be happy and know the true causes of happiness. 

Cluelessness as the Gateway to Change

There’s this amazing and pure potentiality that lies In the midst of our confusion and turmoil. Not knowing is not our enemy but our salvation. Having all of the answers all of the time leaves us with very little. Being clueless and aware of how clueless we really are is a very good place to be. Once we are open to our cluelessness, anything is possible. 

There’s something about a new year which reminds us that change is not only possible but inevitable. 

You never step into the same river twice. You are not the same person you were when you first started reading these words, and moments from now you will have changed in even the subtlest of ways. And on and on it goes like this.

The fact that everything is in a constant state of evolution serves as a catalyst both for relief and dismay.

The relief part says Yay! What is painful to me now can and will eventually end! 

The dismay part cries Yikes! The things that I am attached to and things that cause me pleasure will eventually be taken away!

Finding that place that isn’t beholden to the comings and goings of your outer experience is one of the most important things you can do with your life.

Rather than getting caught up in trying to fix ourselves one more time, we can use this new year as a reminder that we are never as stuck as we think we are. We must never give up on ourselves or each other or this world. We can work with the energy of change to bring about happiness and fairness to everyone, everywhere.

By keeping our intention sincere and by remembering that we live in a dynamic, ever evolving universe we can transform ourselves and this world we live in.

Happy New Year.